Cherryhillphotography’s Weblog

Nothing much to report today. Was a nice simple day. Just did a tiny bit of housework and looked after Summer. My parents came in the evening to stay the night and it was the first time that my dad met Summer. So that was nice. Mental Health called and they want to send someone around on Monday. Not really looking forward to it, but I want them off my back. So once they have been and seen for themselves that I don’t need them, they can bugger off!!

Tried a little spot of Breast Feeding today. Might keep giving it a little shot, you never know what it might lead too…..tho I think that the Hospital ruined my chances. Which makes me sad. I am tired. I will be doing the late feeds tonight and Rick will do the early morning one of about 6:30am ish. I don’t know how mothers who exclusively breast feed manage. It is something to admire!

Was okay. I tried to sleep in a little, in between Summers feeds. I got some more housework done whilst she slept. The Mental Health place called me again and kinda made me agree to come in to see one of their case workers just to make sure everything was going okay etc, to rule out any other problems that might be lurking. When Rick called me to say he was on his way home, I told him that they’d called and he was pretty angry, saying no I won’t be going, there is no need too and it’s going to be too difficult with a newborn too and that they originally said that they would be able to send someone around to our house.

So when Rick got home, he called them and cancelled that appointment and they said that they would call me about coming around to the house to visit instead. Which to be honest with you, I don’t bloody want either. I just want to be left the hell alone. The more people that I have on my back like this, the more my confidence in being a new mum falls. And that is NOT what I need!!!

I actually cooked my first meal in ages. It was nice. But my appetite isn’t that hearty at the moment. Rick bought the electric bottle warmer today too
It is making things sooo much easier!!! We are basically feeding around the 3/4 hourly mark, but because Summers feeding is so sporadic at the moment, it’s hard to know when to have a bottle ready (we keep them ready to go in fridge daily). So the electric warmer gets it ready for you, whilst you changed nappy and clean bubby up. Yes……it’s a luxury……but it’s saving water for us……and time…….and our sanity…….and I am happy to use it whilst we can. Who wouldn’t be???!!!

Went well.
I had a phone call from Mental Health. I turned down their offer to help as I don’t feel I need it right now. But I know what to do and where to go if I change my mind. I am quite exhausted. We also had the visit from the Midwives from the hospital. They recommended that Rick and I write a letter each of complaint about my birth experience and stay in the hospital. We are mulling it over at the moment as it’s still so raw, we aren’t sure if it’s a path we’d like to take just yet. All I know is, I am afraid of going back to that damned place, and I have to do that next Thursday.

Summer was weighed today, she was 2190 when we left the hospital on Monday and today she weighed in at 3100. So it’s good news!! She is also feeding on bigger amounts too, but is kind of all over the place some of the time when it comes to food and sleeping. Which is to be expected.

I hurt for her every time I hear her cry, but I just have to remember that she is only trying to communicate with me about what she wants. Rick has been fantastic. Better than I expected. Last night he let me sleep through after her midnight feed, as he took the other two feeds before he went to work. Tonight I will take the main 2 feeds and then I am intending on napping the rest of the day and taking it easy, instead of trying to be super woman and do all the chores and so on.

Well tonight I sign off with “I love my husband so very much and I love my little baby Summer and I wouldn’t have my life any other way!!!”.

Last night was not so bad. We have had so much advice on how to look after Summer, that basically we hardly flinched when we had to do everything for ourselves the first time last night. Summer woke up several times during the night for feeds, but since we are a great team, it was all good.

Today is the first day that I am officially alone to look after Summer and I am loving doing just that! She is most certainly the apple of my eye and I am terribly proud of her. And of Rick come to think of it. He has been the best support a new mother could have!

……..I will fill my blog up with all the stories I have about our baby Summer. I can’t wait to have it all down ‘on paper’, so that I can look back on it all some day. Though it has been the most traumatic time of my life….it has also been the most beautiful.

This of course is why…..

sleep. Before the ‘Big Day’ again. But that is too much to ask isn’t it??!!
I go back into the hospital to try for the induction again and this is the night that I really need a good nights rest (as it’s hard to sleep in a hospital) but I can’t get it. Why?? Acid Reflux. Tonight it has been particularly bad. So……I am awake at 3:30am and on the computer.

Thankfully, I don’t have to be at the hospital until 2pm again. So I have a bit of time to go back to bed and try and get more sleep. As I am already packed and ready to go from last time

I had reflexology on Friday after I got home from the hospital and it was really nice. So if it doesn’t help anything, it was a nice way to spend an hour. Then on Saturday, my mum generously spent an hour massaging my feet for me!! It was sooo nice AND then…..last night (sunday) Rick spent an hour massaging my feet as well. And when he came with me over the weekend for my CTG’s he has been rubbing my feet in the wards as well. So I have had a nice relaxing weekend of foot massage. And it has been lovely!!

So after all of that, I kicked Rick to the spare room for the night so that I could make sure I got a good nights sleep, only to end up ruining it for myself without his help. I hate this. I have absolutely 100% had ENOUGH of this!

Well I arrived at the Maternity Assesment Ward yesterday afternoon for 2pm and I was kinda sent back home today at bout 9:30am. I was given the Cervadil overnight and it didn’t do very much. The head doctor for the Gestation Diabetes decided to pop in on me before we got the Syntocin started up and gave us her opinion on what lay ahead.

Basically she said if it was her choice, she wouldn’t go on to have the Syntocin yet. As chances are it will fail and then I will be forced to undergo a C Section. Which we really do not want. So I have been asked to come back into the hospital over the weekend to be monitored a couple of times and then to go back into the Maternity Assesment Ward again on Monday at 2pm and they will start all over again if need be……or hopefully my cervix will have ripened over the weekend enough to give them a chance to break my waters. And then continue the Induction from there.

I came home pretty despondent and sore and completely shattered physically and emotionally. I was very stressed. But we realise the benefits of the body doing it’s own thing, over being forced via man made hormones. And the risks of a C section are still there….but by then we wont have the option anymore. But for now we do. So it’s back home to feet rubbing and relaxing as much as is possible till then.

Yes. Typical. It’s 4am and I should be fast asleep in bed. Alas, I am awake typing on the computer another blog…..about….??? I am not awake from lack of tiredness. Nooo, far from it. I am not awake thinking about what lies ahead today either. Tho I am most definitely thinking…..

I am awake through a combination of things, some being hubby and some being mine. Basically I figured, that, since Rick will be getting off to work early this morning, I will just suffer until then and go back to bed once he’s gone. In hindsight I should never have slept in the same room (let alone bed) as anyone tonight and I will remember that for next time. Yes, we have a big spare bed, but it’s covered in laundry that I folded yesterday and a big bag of vacuum sealed clothes that I have to put back into the cupboard and that mattress is just way too hard for sleeping on, in my condition. Next time, I will send Rick in there. He can sleep just bout anywhere these days.

Rick’s cousin had her baby yesterday afternoon. *she is only 16*
She was meant to be having it around the 8th of May and ended up going in early and being induced. She is a small little thing and she gave birth to an 8 pound baby boy. I reason that if she can do it….well then so the hell can I!! But I am quite freaked out about having a big baby. Ultimately of course, I just want baby to be 100% fit and healthy. Well I don’t have anything else to write. I am tired. I just want to sleep, but I can’t. Not yet. I WILL catch up tho. I must!

Induction.

Well just about everything is done. It’s just after 10:30pm and I am about to get ready for bed. I am confident I will sleep well tonight as I am really tired. My MIL is going to be coming down as soon as she gets away from work, which is silly really, but I guess some support is better than none (outside of the hubby). My parents are not coming down until Friday late afternoon. Which I am kinda peeved about. As I expected them down here early just in case she comes on Friday. BUT….what can I do?? I guess I just have to get over it. If she comes earlyish then I guess they will not be there to see her for ages. I DID say come down Friday. I just thought they would come down in the morning…….??

My back on the left hand side is very sore again. I can’t wait till all these aches and pains are long forgotten. I hope tomorrow when they examine me, I am progressing somewhat or it’s going to be a long long stay. G’night!

So today I have just been focusing on getting the house straightened out and the Baby’s room organised, packing my hospital/baby bags and so on and so forth. It’s just past lunch time and I still have a long way to go….but there is light at the end of the tunnel. It helps me to keep busy, cuz then my mind is off what lies ahead. The baby is having the hiccups again right as I type. My back is aching. I just had a nice hot shower. Now I am waiting for the hubby to come home from work.

I am tired.

The breast pump came this morning and so did the SIDs Monitor. I am in the middle of washing the rest of the baby’s clothes and blankets and towels blah blah blah. Her room is going to look nice and fresh and bright. I just can’t wait until all of this is behind me and she is in my arms and we are home.